Myspace.com Conversation - #1

The following e-mail chain is a conversation I recently had with a young lady on Myspace.com that was (and I presume, is) very enamored with me. I gave her my usual Biscoe charm, and her response was nothing less than extraordinary. Literally.

As you read this, please remember: Deep down, I’m a person like you are. But on the surface, I'm really, really hot.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

You need more female friends here on Myspace.

Seriously, b/c if things don't work out between us (and they probably won't, considering), it'd be great if you could fix me up with a real hottie. That would save me some time.

Thanks in advance,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

yeah lol we could neeever work!!! buh bye!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Okay...

Now that we got that bit of awkwardness out of the way, who are you going to set me up with?

Thanks,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

oh dont worry! no awardness here... just think your freakin weird.... lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

You misspelled "cute".

It doesn't start with a W. Nor does it end in "eird"

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

last time i checked "cute" doesnt describe cockiness!

Thanks,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Wow...you misspelled charming this time!!!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

no..... charming describes the guy im already talkin to here on myspace.... yeah not u buddy!!!

THANKS!
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly...

Don't fight your feelings.

Love,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

OMG!!! paaaaleeeeaze!!!! GOODbye!

No Love,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

Paaaaaleeeeaze what? Paaaaaleeeeaze ask you out? I would, but I'm busy this weekend.

Maybe next?

Let me know.

Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

U r TOO funny! night!

have fun with your parents this weekend!

shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

My parents are out of town this weekend. Which is why I'm busy (I'm dog-sitting).

Also, I have seven dates lined up. I could make you Number 8 if you start being nice.

Best Regards,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

rod,

let me think about that........ uhm no.

like i said, cockiness is a huge turnoff.

best regards,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

I think you might've misunderstood my last e-mail. I said you had to be NICE to be Date Number 8.

Sincerely,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

rod,

you havent given me a reason to be nice to you!

keep dreamin,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

I can see you're really starting to warm up to me. Was it something I said?

Yours Truly,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

rod,

wow. you are so right!!! gosh, howd you figure me out....

later,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

It was pretty easy, really. I just realized you are a girl, and most girls are awed by my awesome charm and wit.

So it was only a matter of time.

Increasingly yours,
Rod Biscoe

P.S. You can give me your phone number now. Thanks.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

rod,

i believe you need to take five minutes of your time and scroll and read this message from top to bottom back starting where you first asked me "to fix you up with hottie".... then when your done you will realize that im not into "witty, smart ass" guys...

thanks,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

I think you accidentally hit "send" before you typed your phone number.

Thanks,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

rod,

alright, you pulled leg.........

its 1-800-GET-LOST!!!!

oh? youve heard that one before???

buh bye,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

Is that a fake number, because I don't think phone numbers have exclamation points in them.

Looking forward to talking,
Rod Biscoe

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Shelly

rod,

so sorry to burst your bubble, but this "smooth, sweet" talkin isnt working....

best wishes,
shelly

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rod Biscoe

Shelly,

You really should play a bit harder to get. I mean, you respond to me every time!!! Try to make it less obvious that you're really into me. It'll make the chase that much more exciting.

Thanks for helping out,
Rod Biscoe